There’s an old saying “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”
Based on my extensive research (one google search) it may originate from a poem called “The Kicker” (good title), and has come to mean that the most annoying or visible problem is going to be the thing that gets resolved first. I’ve always sort of viewed this with a negative connotation — ie “whiners win” — which I resented. After all, when you get off of a delayed flight, the loudest, most annoying customer usually is the one who’s first to get their seat re-booked on another flight, leaving the quieter, more “polite” customers screwed.
For a long time I had internalized a kind of “do not be a squeaky wheel” mentality. I believed complaining / asking for attention was… annoying. [Yes, I am the older sibling, why do you ask?] As a result, I don’t squeak. Instead, I simply quietly continue to roll along, with more and more friction building up, which nobody notices until the friction causes a fire that burns the entire wagon/cart to the ground. This is a good and healthy and normal approach to conflict.*
[*Just kidding! This does NOT actually work! Don’t live like this! You will not get the thing you secretly desire without speaking aloud that desire. To someone else! Ideally the person you want it from!]
What I have come to learn, over and over and over, am only finally beginning to internalize is… being the squeaky wheel is good, actually.
If you don’t squeak people will not help you! People are busy. There is always something shinier / more important / more urgent.
So I wanted to write (partly for myself) a defense of the squeaky wheel. With specific examples of how and why it pays off to gently but consistently, squeak.
I also would like to take this moment to apologize for this very extended metaphor.
Being the squeaky wheel is not in fact bad or annoying, it is simply being a good communicator who is trying to get things done. Here’s why:
You cannot get something unless you ask for it.
This time last year I specifically asked my reps if they could introduce me to an actor that I’d read had just signed with my agency. They never would have known I wanted to meet that person if I hadn’t sent the email. Were they annoyed I was asking? Not at all! They responded right away. “Let us check.” And within a couple weeks the two of us were having coffee! Now it’s one year later, and I’m texting with that actor about a potential project. Never ever ever would have happened if I hadn’t squeaked! (Plus one in the squeaking column)
Last spring I reached out to someone I’d worked with before to ask them if they’d help me make the next thing I wanted to do. Now we’re doing it! (Point squeaking)
About once a year my manager reminds me that I should go through my mental rolodex and just think about whether there’s anyone I’d like to meet or try to work with, and to let him know. What he is doing, more than just being a good manager, is reminding me to get squeaky. If I want something, ask him for it. He can’t always make it happen, but he definitely can’t make it happen if he doesn’t even know about it. (Squeaking again)
People are distracted. They are busy with their own things. And they are not thinking about you, nearly as much as you are thinking about yourself (thank god).
So… it is important to remind them — hello, I’m over here, and hoping for something like this to happen! Sometimes they’ll be able to help! And if not… well, that’s fine too.
Which brings me to the next reason to be squeaky…
Nobody cares as much as you do.
Sometimes it can feel like nobody cares at all. But that is not true. People simply do not care as much as you do. And that is a) normal and b) okay.
When you are the writer / director / producer busting your ass to make something happen… if you are lucky, you are going to slowly begin to gather more and more collaborators, all of whom are there to assist in making the thing happen. Even then, those collaborators will not care as much as you.
People have many things they care about, and they shouldn’t all be YOUR THING. Actually, if all they did care about was your thing, I’d be worried about them. They can (and should) be pulled in multiple directions. This is having a normal life. Especially in Hollywood — where agents have 20-70 clients, and producers have 5-25 projects…
Given the fact that people are going to be pulled in multiple directions, it’s important to keep this in mind:
If you are worried about something, if you want to be sure something gets done, if you want to be sure that it gets done in within a specific time frame… you will need to politely nudge the conversation along to get that thing to happen.
Often in Hollywood things get gummed up because everyone is waiting on the one person who really gets to make the decision, and that person is very busy. If you were to refuse to be the squeaky wheel, you would simply wait patiently. But, if you wait patiently something that should take a couple days might end up taking you months. If instead you were to get a little bit squeaky, you could keep things moving.
What does this look like? Well… let’s say you have an email chain with ten different people on it, and you’re waiting to get an answer on something. After a reasonable window of time, ask again!
Never be afraid to follow up (politely)!
Or, if it feels like there might be someone who could more easily apply a little bit of time pressure, sidebar with that slightly more important person, and ask them to be the squeaky wheel on your behalf. ‘
One of my personal favorite techniques: directly ask the most important person on the thread to just call and get the answer! You would be shocked how quickly a week-long email thread of hundreds of emails can be converted into ONE (1) three minute phone call. One of my favorite good producer stories? In the middle of a zoom somebody brought up a director for a project and the producer said, “hang on, I’ll text him right now.” And he texted them, right then! And we got an answer very quickly after. It really is that easy sometimes! If you are willing to squeak!
Things don’t necessarily need to get bogged down, but the more people there are on the team, the more competing interests you are fighting (look, we all have thirty five jobs at once, this is Hollywood).
Sometimes you simply need to remind everyone — it is important that we get this done in a timely manner.
And it is absolutely fair to do that. Seriously.
Doesn’t being the squeaky wheel make you annoying to people?
Yes. Maybe. A little bit. Sure. But learning to tolerate people being a little bit annoyed with you is a very valuable skill in a field that is basically sales! You need to be a little bit annoying to make sales. That’s the business! Learn to tolerate it. How do you learn to tolerate it? By trying it, repeatedly, and discovering you aren’t actually going to get in trouble, and nobody’s going to yell at you. And if they do… that seems like a them issue.
Of course, exercise caution. Don’t harangue. Don’t blow peoples’ phones up. Don’t be too annoying or too pushy, especially when what you are asking for is a favor.
But a polite follow up after a simple question remains unanswered for a few days?
That’s reasonable! Squeak away!
A quick caveat so that people aren’t annoyed by you: If you are following up to see if someone has read a draft or watched a cut of something, you need to give them time. This needs to be in the ballpark of (at least) two weeks if you know them, and (at least) one month if you don’t.
If they’re working with you on that project, the timeline can of course be shorter, but if you’re just trying to get their attention, fair is fair. People are busy.
The number one gift you can give the people working with you? Reply quickly!
There is nothing more appreciated than an actor / director / producer who right away responds. Even if the answer is no! A quick reply is an absolute godsend. Feel free to drop a comment below and I will do my best!
Anyway, I gotta go, I have people I need to follow up with!
Previously on Hollyweird…
This is so dead on! I often (unconsciously) hold the assumption everyone knows what I'm thinking, and they rarely ever do because, inexplicably, they can't read my mind. Lol. I've been on the other side of that too, where I'm like, wow I wish I knew what this person wanted so I could help in some way, but I have no idea. For me, clarity is a relief. Something I can work with! Both in the giving of clarity and the getting. This is a great reminder, thank you.
Also, if this essay had a soundtrack to it, it would be Theo Katzman's "Be the Wheel" — check it out, so good! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEB0Y4kY5VE
As always, incredible advice, Colby! It's hard being cringe :D